hell is full of lovers
went to the gay pride parade downtown on sunday
i'll just update with lots of pictures because there's been a lot going on in my life to re-tell here
but mostly, just too much drugs. spent the entire weekend stoned at jane's house, sitting on her trampoline. met up with seb downtown, and i was scared and scattered because i just came down, and we were standing at the train station and i felt like crying. all the people and the lights and jane and priya standing there. we see all these adrogynous people slither by us, and the sun hangs up in the sky and i have had no sleep, just pills and coffee. so the light from the sky doesn't look like it's supposed to be there.
this gay couple struts down the street in barely-there minis. i snap pictures of everything (new 5.1 mp sony cybershot baby.)
seb takes my hand and i wander around the middle of an intersection, people streaming around like ants. looking for moe. looking for some more weed. we buy some hotdogs and eat on the curb, trucks coming along, cleaning up the fences and stuff from the parade.
we go down to the lake and seb and i are talking about something i can't rememebr, and the ripples in the water looked so inviting, i wanted to jump in. but instead i just put my feet in and it was so cold. the sun set, and seb and i saw gay ducks. it was really cool seeing him again.
um, i don't know, this is shitty
my life is fucking scattered as shit. i feel so uncomposed, like i have a billion things to do on my agenda, but i just sit sit and sleep, watching the clock. trying to get my brain back on track, i guess.
it feels like i've been on this trip ever since summer started. things are just so fucking weird.
i haven't seen jonny since forever it seems, and the last day of school could be a fucking year ago for all i know. time gets so stretched, and i'm tossing whatever in my body to keep the lights going.